If I Should Have A Daughter

I first watched this piece of performance poetry by Sarah Kay a while back, and thought, hey, that's cool. I knew it had been made into a book, and thought, that's the kind of story I'd like to read my kid, whenever life decides to bless me with one (hurry up, yeah?). But whilst I thought it was pretty awesome, it wasn't until yesterday when I was telling Hubby about it and played it for him that it reduced me to tears. Admittedly I was having a bit of a tough day, something that seems to be in abundant supply in my life right now, unfortunately, but there was just something, in that moment, that crushed me and gave me hope all at the same time.

It's pretty fucking beautiful right?

So if your world is feeling like it's made of sugar right now, find some strength in this, or else just have a good old cry, because sometimes you need to acknowledge your sadness before you can move on.

Frolicking kittens to cheer up your day

It's Thursday. I'm not going to quote 'Hitchhiker's...' at you, but we all know that Thursday are Rubbish (with a captital R). What is categorically not rubbish is the small mass of kittens that we picked up yesterday. They're still a little timid, and a little on the runty side given that they're supposed to be around 9 weeks old, but my gosh if they aren't adorable.

This video will probably bore the pants off any non-cat people out there, so feel free to skip it, but their's nothing quite like 5 (well 4 really, Felix doesn't put in an appearance - something about an exclusive contract with some modelling agency? He told me to call his agent) romping and wrestling to brighten up a rather gloomy, awfully chilly morning.

I present to you, our kittens: Lily is the white one but the others all look very similar - affectionately nick-named diamond head, splodgy back and liney head when we were still deciding on names. Jemima has a white ear/diamond face marking, Batman is well, batman, and Grayson looks a bit like Batman, but has less of a white nose (confusing, right?). Enjoy!

P.S. The video is embedded so you may need to click through to see it.

Stuck In The Nineties

 

 

 

Hat, H&M / Shirt, Topshop / T-shirt, Roxy Quicksilver / Shorts, ebay / 

Leggings, ASOS / Shoes, Sports Direct / Lipstick, No. 7

One of the very few outfits I've actually 'planned' (taken two seconds to think about the night before, as opposed to my usual, throw on half my wardrobe at once and see what sticks method), based entirely around my positively ludicrous, but entirely fantastic new shoes. How mint are these babies?! No word of a lie, cost me £10. TEN POUNDS. Hubby was looking for running shoes (he's doing a triathalon next year, get him!), and I managed to find these, and a pair of short leg bright red wellies (also amazing, also really cheap) in Sports Direct - admittedly not the most glamorous of places, but really, who cares? 

So yes, I'm wearing about 50 different colours, and I look like a Saved By The Bell extra, but do you know what, I'm OK with that. I love having fun with fashion, and some days, I think it does you good to look like a bit of an idiot occasionally (not that I do today, obviously I look awesome). I'm stoked to add these shoes to my repertoire and see what other kinds of crazy looks they can inspire. Do you have an statement pieces that you build looks around or do you just throw things together and hope it works? (No judgement,  that's my favourite way to get dressed)

P.S. Yeah, that tuft of grass is annoying me too.

P.P.S. We say goodbye to the gorgeous Kinney and her lovely mother Violet yesterday - both off to find new forever homes, but we won't be foster cat-less for long as we're off to get 5 (FIVE!) 9 week old kittens tomorrow. We won't have them for long, which will probably be for the best as at that age they are completely exhausting, SO much energy! Check out my instagram/twitter feed tomorrow for updates/a ton of pictures.

The Wedding Ceremony

I've been meaning to post more about the delightful day when I became Mrs B, and my best friend, the love of my life became my Hubby. It makes me feel all warm and mushy inside to remember it, which is probably worth hanging on to when we're bickering about who's turn it is to make the tea or feed the cats (these aren't things we actually argue about, he know's it's always his turn for both, but you get my point I hope). 

A good half of people that read this blog were probably there on the day, and witnessed me sob my way through my vows (well, it was Hubby saying them to me that pushed me over really, but it was all pretty emotional like).

He even made me this little frame with a section of the vows that got us really choked up.

It all passed in a bit of a blur for me, but the one line that really sticks in my memory is "All that I am, and all that I have, I bring to you". Aww shucks. It still makes me well up now!

Since I was so caught up in the moment, understandably I think you'll agree, it's nice to have so manty photographs to look back on - here are a 'small' selection of my favourites from our official photos, copyright of Hannah Millard Photography.

And a few 'unofficial' ones that are goodies too.

I *think* this one is taken as Hubby gets his first glimpse of me as his blushing bride :)

Walking in a Miss... 

(to a string quartet cover of Transatlanticism by Death Cab no less, the swelling of the strings is enough to set me off, even now)

...and out a Mrs!

I've not exactly made a secret out of the fact that, despite being truly wonderful, getting married was, for me at least, a total stress-fest. But this bit? Best bit of the day, fo' sure. Everything else just melts away when you think that this is the moment where you get to commit your life to another, if front of everyone that means something to you, that's the important bit, the bit you remember. (Well, that and your cousin dedicating 'Wild Thing' to you on the karaoke and it making you cry because you're so drunk touched, but that's a story for another day kids).

Wedding Guests

A few weeks ago, my utterly brilliant and totally babe-tastic gem of a friend, the delightful Miss Hannah Millard, married her man & baby daddy, Iwan in a blur of endless photographs and pixel confetti.

This rather excellent photo, which I managed to sneak into the forefront of, was taken by the excellent Laura Babb of Babb Photography who took Hannah's photos that day.

Excellent though it is, does it really compare to this beauty that I snapped of the happy couple (using the fisheye from Hannah's magical box of cameras)?

I think not.

As a result of said magical box of cameras (well, Hannah is a wedding photographer after all), there were a LOT of photographs being taken, and a small amount of silliness may have ensued. These are my favourites of Hubby & I, and are all, of course, nicked off Hannah's facebook (hopefully what with us being mates and that, she won't sue me for copyright infringement)

I did actually take my camera, but all my pictures seem a bit tame and rubbish in comparison!

P.S. I was the only person wearing a hat, what's wrong with people these days? HATS ARE SO AWESOME.

P.P.S. I wore an ASOS dress & hat (which I got off eBay), a really old scarf/necktie, a John Lewis school cardigan & Kurt Geiger heels. I was definitely channeling a 'retro air hostess' vibe, and I am OK with that. I think Hubby & I made quite the fashionable couple between my hat and his bow tie :D

No amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

Soundtrack: Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift 

(essentially just the other side to Paramore's Misery Business story)

Dress: vintage via Etsy, £10

Belt, Tights & Shoes: Primark, £2, £2, £4

This dress was a birthday present from my Hubby way back in March (he actually bought me two, what a doll), but only got a few wears before the long sleeves and synthetic fabric, not to mention the slip you have to wear underneath, all got too much in the heat of summer. But now it's cooler, darker, damper and y'know, generally a bit more miserable (getting up in the dark is just not ok in my book), it does at least mean I get to pull some of my warmer, woollier dresses out of the wardrobe, so that's one small perk. 

Two more weeks and you might actually see me occasionally around these parts, I'm counting down the days so hard it hurts. Hope you can bear with me! 

Do you remember the first time?

It feels like the longest time, but in truth, it's probably only been a week or a month or something stupidly short, but today, for the first time, in a while anyway, I feel truly, wonderfully happy.

I'm not feeling miserable about work (an unfortunately large constant in the last few months), I don't feel like we might never have a baby (we might, you never know, but I've stopped feeling like that's the end of the world), I don't feel down about our distinct lack of money. All these things that have been niggling at me for the last few months, causing me to feel ill, tired and stressed out, and causing more than a few arguments between me and my beloved - because we're both so tired, ill, and stressed out! -all of those things I've managed to some how, miraculously, just let them all go. Fed up of feeling like crap, I've changed what I can change, and I'm just learning to live with the rest of it.

The saying goes that 'Happiness is a journey, not a destination', so there's no promise I'll still feel this quiet contentment tomorrow, or even this afternoon. But for now, a devoted husband, a houseful of cats, a new Girls Aloud single... it's enough.

Cats and Cats and Cats

Lately Chez B has become a bit of a cat palace, and I am SO ok with that. After our rather disastrous first experience of being cat fosterers, I can happily report that the second time around was a 100% success. We adopted the beautiful (and totally flea-ridden, yurgh!) Queenie & her kits, Leah, Jenna and Harry - already named when they arrived which saved us the endless deliberation of the first time.

 Jenna and Leah, Harry at the front

A 3 kitten smush-wich (blurred but failing to hide all the mess in our bedroom, eek)

 Harry and his beautiful snow white face

 Hubby & Leah

Momma cat with her big ol' splodgy face.

 And a cute little close up of Leah sticking her tongue up (these guys LOVED to lick us).

These guys (called such because every 5 seconds we were just like, OH YOU GUYS, because they were either being totally adorable, or really really naughty!) came to us at around 8 weeks old, and stuck around for about 4 weeks, in which they grew in size, and excitability. They were SO naughty! But really cute with their individual personalities and markings - Leah's the one with the batman mask, Harry (patch, or gazpacho as I ended up calling him) had a big black smudge on his back, but a beautiful white face, and Jenna was a bit more muddly like her mum. Jenna was definitely the cheekiest monkey of them all, but she grew to be our favourite because of it, and there were almost a few tears when we had to put her in her pen and say goodbye - she did not want to be put down and it was heartbreaking. 

P.S. Clearly not enough cute cat photos, here's some of my favourites from instagram...